I have literally felt my heart breaking all day. It is so heavy and it feels like it is pumping mire out of my chest instead of pumping life. I know that tonight is the night I have to make the call that establishes the ultimate boundary that I need. I have spent at least 10 days resolving what I am willing to live with and what I am not.
I have decided that
I refuse to be in a one-sided friendship.
I deserve to get as good as I give.I have decided that
I refuse to be in a one-sided friendship.
The thing causing the largest lump in my throat is that I know this is going to devastate her. I know this is going to rip her apart. This next step towards my freedom and all that the Universe is showing me that I am capable of starts with breaking the heart of someone that I used to cherish in a way that I would cherish a sister. This is why I have been silently suffering.
But then how many doors must slam in my face, how windows must pinch my fingers as they are shut before I realize that she is not healthy? She is slowly destroying herself and I am not willing to enable her unhealthy behavior any longer.
"Wanting to help someone in need is loving, but there are times when your assistance doesn’t actually promote their well-being. It’s important to be able to distinguish the difference between truly helping and enabling unhealthy behavior. There’s a pretty good chance you’re doing the latter if they need your help repeatedly. Even though it can be difficult to let them fall, sometimes hitting bottom might be just…What the doctor ordered."-Gratitude Twenty Four Seven
I am on this incredible journey to remember who I am. I am learning how to be soft and inviting. I am learning to be beautiful and content within that beauty. I am learning to listen to my body in all of its wisdom. I am learning to trust my gut and not think of it as separate from me. All of this is shaping me into exactly who I'm meant to be and I want it. I want to be healthy so that I can help others. I want to travel this path, this hard, hard path so that I can share with others.
"Wanting to help someone in need is loving, but there are times when your assistance doesn’t actually promote their well-being. It’s important to be able to distinguish the difference between truly helping and enabling unhealthy behavior. There’s a pretty good chance you’re doing the latter if they need your help repeatedly. Even though it can be difficult to let them fall, sometimes hitting bottom might be just…What the doctor ordered."-Gratitude Twenty Four Seven
I am on this incredible journey to remember who I am. I am learning how to be soft and inviting. I am learning to be beautiful and content within that beauty. I am learning to listen to my body in all of its wisdom. I am learning to trust my gut and not think of it as separate from me. All of this is shaping me into exactly who I'm meant to be and I want it. I want to be healthy so that I can help others. I want to travel this path, this hard, hard path so that I can share with others.
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