Love and wishes

I have a friend that wants to be a mom.  She has had this ache for as long as I can remember.    She deserves to be a mom.  She is one of those women that you want to be your mom.  She's the woman that you
want to be your child's godparent because if anything did happen to you, you know that she would step in and take over exactly where you left off.
She has had this hole in her soul that is almost full.  She has been chosen by another beautiful woman to be the mother of her unborn son.  This mother has no idea what her sacrifice is doing to my friend.  She has no idea how beautiful she is making my friend.  This is the role my friend was born to play.  We were talking last night and my friend was telling me how she has been writing out her life story since September.  She lost her mother soon after we graduated high school and she wanted to make sure that the child that is chosen for her will know everything she ever wanted him to know.  I think what she was doing was making space for this child to come into her life.  There
was a lot of work she needed to do.  A lot of thoughts that needed to be thought out and brought to light.  There were a lot of things that needed to be let go.  She needed to create the space to manifest her intention.  It's hard for
me to imagine but my friend was actually creating a space for more love.  She is already so full of love and compassion, but as I well know, your capacity for love increases three fold when you become a mother.
My point of all this is that I need to have a very difficult conversation that I do not want to have.  I have held a grudge for 9 months now and I need to let it go.  It has festered and grown.  In fact, I'd have to say that it has become easier at this point to be angry than be truthful.  I know the time has come to have this conversation so that I can continue down the path of joy that I have started to create for myself.  It's time for me to create more space.  I know something illuminating is headed my way and I need to create the space for it.  I can feel the shift headed my way.
I read Hannah's blog this morning.  I swear this girl is always a step ahead of me.  I totally enjoy walking along behind her.

The moment we blew the puffs off the dandelion and told the Universe

our giddy dream something was planted, more than just the seeds to

grow new dandelion blooms.

The beauty is that we don’t have to wait for the angst to shift us

around. We can create it now, tomorrow, in the next 5 minutes. Wishing

on a star is not the shift. It is the wish.

Just like my friend above, I have put my wish out there and the universe has answered loud and clear.  I know exactly where I am headed and it is scary.  It's scary in a good way though.  I feel excited and creative.  I feel beautiful and strong.  I feel things that have been dormant in me so long, I forgot they were there.  I sing again.  I laugh more easily but I need to have a conversation with another one of my best friends because I do not know if she wants to be part of this new me.  I am moving into a life of joy.  I am choosing joy, love, and gratitude more often than not.  Acting and
reacting from a place of joy is becoming my way.  It is a slow process, but the release I am feeling is incredible.  I am attracting bigger & brighter souls into my life.  I am being supported by loving people and I am feeling very nurtured.
I want her to be a part of this shift but I have to figure out what that means.  She knows me better than anyone and sometimes that can be challenging because she knows how to guilt me.  She knows how to destroy me.  She knows how to life me up.  She knows how to bring me down.  I need to have this conversation so that I can create my own
space to allow in what needs to come.