Soulstice

I wrote this yesterday but forgot to post it.  Well I suppose as of now, I wrote this 2 days ago.

CheriBella

Today is the winter solstice and I'm feeling the need to clean, clean, clean before I hunker down.

I've never celebrated the solstice before but feel the need to balance this year.

Boho Girl is speaking to my heart when she writes:

On the longest night of the year, as we prepare to enter back into the light, it is important that we honor the darkness with as much reverence as we do the sun’s return. Gestation and regeneration take place in the dark. We once grew in a dark womb. Plants begin their lives under the dark cover of soil before they emerge into the sun. Our dark places are not to be feared. They are as necessary to life as the light. Without a shadowed haven into which to retreat, even the life-giving sun will eventually kill you. The light and the darkness give balance and perspective to all of life.

I never really thought about needing time in the dark before returning to the light.  I never thought of honoring my need to be alone for a while but I feel it coming now.  I've been in such a time of introspection lately.  It's been nice surrounding myself with love and with those that love me.  I've been very careful who I give my energy to and I've been nurturing myself with yoga.

What' really throwing me is that I am doing so well spritually right now and I am so in love with life but I cannot stop eating sweets.  It has almost become a compulsion and I'm rarely satisfied.  I keep overlooking the damage I'm doing because of all the good things I'm doing and learning.  I'm really having a hard time controlling the food I'm intaking.  It's like I'm trying to balance myself out by damaging everything good I'm doing.  I realize that that makes no sense but I have no other explination.

I'm very ready to spend some time alone this winter.  I'm very ready to say no to going out and to say yes to the things I love that make me feel better and do better.  I have never been more in love with my life than I am right now.  Tonight I'm cleaning and purging and then after the boys are in bed, I'm renewing myself with some gentle, loving yoga.  Out with the old and in with the new.